In my Forerunner School of Ministry practicum we are studying the sermon on the mount in Matthew 5-7 which is in essence, Jesus' character. More and more I am overwhelmed by His life, how can someone combat the human flesh in such a perfect way? In the end of chapter 5 Jesus says,"Therefore, you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect." He is basically saying that in keeping ALL of these things, you, your fleshly created being will be perfect as the Father of glory! WHOA!
New goal in life for me, to be perfect as my Father in heaven is perfect. What exactly does that look like? I can imagine it would manifest as ultimate humility, sincere meekness, hunger for righteousness and purity, wholehearted mercy, a pure heart and mind amidst persecution and slander and a lifelong zeal to see the kingdom of heaven invade earth.
Unattainable? In my own flesh. But, with a Holy Helper it is something to be grasped.
I think for me this pursuit needs to begin with a new perspective. In Matthew 7:1-2, Christ talks about judgement, the judgement we give will be the judgement we receive. I believe that even more than the judgement we receive from others, the greatest impact comes from the judgement we place on ourselves. When I judge my brothers and sisters in Christ, I often end up placing that same burden of judgement on myself creating wrong thoughts and beliefs about the heart of the Lord. This sends me into a spiral of self-condemnation, shame and ultimately lack of spiritual growth.
One of the areas I commonly judge is the realm of platform ministry. I have always placed such value and expectation on the stage, to the point of making it my ultimate goal. There is something about the platform that makes me think that only the best and the brightest make it to that point and in my weakness and immaturity I have pursued it as the ultimate level of being approved by the Lord. Could it be possible that the best and the brightest hold positions in the marketplace, as stay at home mom's and Jesus loving housewives as well as full time ministry?
This makes me consider my calling. I have always had a desire to impact the kingdom of God in the greatest way possible, in my mind I have always viewed that as leading hundreds of thousands of people in revival and serving the nations as the next Amy Carmichael. I believe the desires in my heart are God given and my true calling... What has the Lord placed as desires in my heart? Number one... to love well. I want to love Jesus with every ounce of my soul, mind, heart and body, with every cell of my being. Secondly... to love every single person He has blessed my life with. That doesn't mean just a little, "Hi, I'm Korynne, I love you." I want my heart to burn with the Lord's burden for people, I want to carry His heart for the guy that changes the oil on my car at Meineke and the girl waiting at the bus stop by my house when I leave for the prayer room at 6am. I want the fire of love that compels me to pray unceasingly for the lost in my generation. However that manifests in the flesh, it really doesn't matter, I could reach one or one million, my small-in-the-eyes-of-man-love will completely ravish His heart.
Father, instead of taking the post of judge in this life, reveal Your heart to me and help me to take the place of love and mercy, burning with zeal to see Your kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven. I ask Father for kingdom vision, for grace to pursue radical obedience, for faithfulness in love and for help in becoming the likeness of You. Jesus, take this weak lover of You and wash me, help me to love You well.
How I love You, how I love You, how I love You, how I love You, Jesus.
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