For one of my class finals I had to create a website. The result was a far superior blog compared to this one. :/ Therefore, I have decided to abandon this site and use the other one in lieu. You are welcome to visit me there at memoirsofaforerunner.wordpress.com

On that site you will find some awesome devotional posts on the book of Hebrews (my assignment).

Bye.

Thankful, hopeful...

Well, I am officially a junior in the Forerunner School of Ministry. This week has been a crazy journey of good and terrible at the same time. I am really looking forward to my classes, my times in the word and in the prayer room but at the same time, completely overwhelmed by the course load coupled with full time work. Lord, give me grace!

I was in my practicum introduction yesterday and our leaders of the House of Prayer Leadership track were casting their vision for our training. We will basically be immersed in planting a student house of prayer and leading Encounter God services once a week throughout the semester. Grouped into teams of people, we will be assigned roles according to our gifts and starting a house of prayer. This is exactly what I came here for, to grow and be stretched in ministering to people, learning how to build praying communities from the ground up among the nations. After spending 2 years on the sidelines it has become really easy just to go with the flow, unnoticed. Comfortable, rather. The idea of being seen or being vulnerable in such a way is utterly terrifying to me! I was sitting in class yesterday, excited about the opportunity to grow and at the same time experiencing so much fear and anxiety that I felt like throwing up. I wanted to drop out immediately!

When I got home, I decided to lay out a fleece before the Lord. I asked Him that if He wanted me to be in school, as scary as it is, to allow me to sleep peacefully through the night, I haven’t slept through the night in 2 weeks. I have been operating on 2-3 hours of sleep per night because of the anxious feelings I’ve been experiencing. I woke up this morning peacefully after one of the hardest sleeps I’ve had in my life, I didn’t wake up once. I guess you can say that the Lord wants me to be in school. :) This semester will be extremely challenging and stretching for me, I feel like my confidence level is at a 0 right now. What better of an opportunity to see the Lord’s strength and glory manifested though, right? I am weak but He is strong and more than able to take my insecurity and failure and make it beautiful and good. 

Thankful.

Why am I still here!?

I finished school here in May. Or did I? Why am I still here!?

I have no idea why, but I have had the hardest time letting this semester start without me being in class. All summer I have been wrestling with the should I or shouldn't I's of continuing school and it seems that every time I make a decision, I start all over at the beginning of the wrestle.

IHOPU re-adjourns on Monday and this week the battle that has been raging in my mind was set on jet-speed. I don't know why I haven't been able to have peace in letting it go. At the same time, I have been coveting my free time like a chipmunk storing up nuts for the winter. After spending the last two years with no free seconds to rub together hardly, I was more than ready to be done in May. Burnt out.

I really have no reason to go to school other than the fact that it would be a great opportunity to continue growing in the word in ways that I can't on my own. Not to mention that it is convenient that all of my friends are continuing and I would feel like I've been left in the dust with no legitimate reason to quit.

Needless to say, I haven't slept all week and school starts in about 36 hours. :/

JESUS!!!!!

Life....or something like it.

Sometimes life twists in ways that are surprising. I hate that feeling of aimlessness, where what you are pursuing in life seems mediocre at best and you find yourself being exactly that person you said you would never be. I've never been good at mediocrity or boredom and I will kick and scream all day about aimlessness. But here I am, summer came, almost went and I did a lot of quiet time and cooking and cleaning and homemaking and... that's it. With all that, I was mostly lonely. It is so difficult to make time and spend time with people when everyone is pursuing purpose and meaning at 369 miles an hour. So instead of meeting with people and friends, I met with the Lord for hours everyday.

I've been asked, "What was the Lord speaking to you about? How awesome was that?!?!"

I wouldn't exactly say that He gave me intense prophetic revelation or encountered me with the fullness of His glory in person but I just spent the summer enjoying Him, savoring friendship and doing life with Him. It was so peaceful and surprising. As you may have discovered, I am an extremist. I never do anything halfway, I jump full force into life oftentimes without thinking about where I am to jump. So the discovery that the Lord sometimes just wants to take a break from intensity to just rest and be, was a mind blowing concept for me. Pursuing greatness and revival and seeing heaven invade earth brings joy to His heart and just as much, He is delighted by my abiding time.

After being at home with all things familiar and fun, coming back to little old Grandview, MO was a bit overwhelming. It was so nice to be home where I know and am known, where relationships are long and meaningful and where I'm surrounded by people who know what makes me tick. I came back to this sea of people in a mega ministry where thousands of people seek a charismatic Christian mecca and race to be the one who pursues the Lord with the most passion(this is my personal estimation anyways). I got swallowed up to say the least. I know I don't need friendships to sustain my heart but the Lord is teaching me(much slower than I'd like I might add) to truly be filled by His friendship to the point where all other relationships are bonus blessings. He is the true source, He is the only One who can fill that void of relationship in a healthy, non-codependent way. I am growing through this, by the grace of God.

My house....

Here are some pictures of my house!

My garden!

Here is a little picture of my garden!

The day the neighborhood saw my underwear...

The other day I was planting my garden... If you know me well, you understand that when I get something in my head I run full speed into the idea throwing caution to the wind. On this day last week, I suddenly had the urge to plant a garden. I must say, I looked really cute that day, I had my hair all done up and I was wearing this nice, big skirted, flowing dress. I somehow managed to hoe the whole garden, pull up all the weeds, scratch up the soil and gingerly plant all of my treasures without getting my dress coated in grime. My hands however, were coated in all sorts of mud and yuck so I went to wash up in the house. To my dismay, my roommates had come home and locked the house on their way out! I was stuck outside!

Suddenly, I remembered that a few days before I had found a spider on something and was so entirely freaked out that I had opened up the window, pulled out the screen and thrown the object out onto the roof. :) That window must still be unlocked!?!?! I climbed up the side of the house via the chain link fence, neglecting to lock the gate on the way up. Unfortunately, ALL the windows into the house from the roof were locked tight so I decided to make my way down. But, the gate I hadn't locked in all of its swingingness was IMPOSSIBLE to climb down onto... Smart move, Korynne.

My only option was to jump off the roof. Thoughts of both of my legs breaking in two raced through my mind as I prepared to jump.

And then it happened, I sailed through the air and it was glorious. But I was in a dress! The nice, flowing type, remember? The whole thing went over my head like a parachute that couldn't catch the wind... As I flew through the air, I wondered if there was anyone around to see my underwear. And then I landed on all fours in the grass with my dress over my head. Embarrassing.

That is something I would've done when I was 10 years old, but at 25?

The lesson I learned was twofold, never should one garden in a nice dress and even more importantly, one should NEVER CLIMB UP TO A ROOF IN A DRESS.