Tuesday, May 3, 2011

He must increase and I must decrease....

I have a newfound fascination with biographies... This past month I've read two, "Heavenly Man" by Brother Yun and "A Chance to Die" by Elisabeth Elliot. While reading both books I wanted to cry, scream and at times travail for the state of my heart and for the sleeping church of the west. Brother Yun endured some of the most grotesque persecution for his faith I've ever heard of... with joy. And the Lord used him to shape the church on the continent of Asia. How much would you or I endure for our faith, to protect our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ? Since reading his story I have been so convicted about negativity and dissatisfaction with my life. It's amazing all that I have taken for granted and grown familiar with... I have four bibles and a concordance on my nightstand right now, brother Yun had to bury his lest he die. I tire of reading my bible after an hour, brother Yun memorized the gospels because he wanted to always carry them with him. Father, change my heart! Teach me to fear You, give me an unquenchable hunger for your word, break the Spirit of apathy off of my heart and mind in Jesus name. Purify my heart Jesus, have mercy on me, set a fire in my heart again. I ask for the Spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of You in the name of Jesus.
The Lord worked many miracles in brother Yun's life, when asked about it this is what he said, "He will never pour out His blessing on unsanctified and selfish flesh. The cross of Jesus must be at the center of everything we do. Are you really willing to give your ALL to God and to His service? If you do these things you will see revival. Many people have asked me why we see so many signs and wonders in China, but people don't really see them in the west. In the west you have so much. You have insurance for everything and in a way you don't NEED God. When my father was dying of stomach cancer we sold everything we had to try to cure him. When everything was gone, we had no hope but God. We turned to Him and in His mercy He healed my father. We reasoned that if God could do that, He could do anything, so our faith grew. In China, the greatest miracles we see are lives transformed by the gospel. We believe we are not called to follow signs and wonders, but instead the signs and wonders follow us when the gospel is preached. We don't keep our eyes on the signs and wonders, we keep our eyes on Jesus."
One of the most provoking facts about the Chinese church is the fact that when they send someone out to preach the gospel, they not only take up an offering and empty their pockets but they go home and sell all they have to invest in the furthering of the gospel in China.
I want to lay down my life and all I have for Jesus, I don't want to focus on signs and wonders and glory in the growth of my ministry, I want to see Jesus exalted. This is something that I've stumbled in before, Father, give me grace to lay myself down, to become poor in spirit. Help me to love you more, help me to live my life as a pleasing sacrifice to You.

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